How does someone clear the air when there is too much pollution to be removed? And how would one go about chasing and gathering feathers that have been scattered and carried away by gusts of wind? Suppose you had a down pillow and ripped it open and let the feathers loose on a blustery day. Why would you do that except to illustrate a point? Imagine chasing down each and every feather that got away. It would be impossible to contain them all. Hundreds and thousands of them scattered about. That’s exactly how lies spread…and just like that the damage is done. The lies circulate. You’ve got (a) the liar; (b) the lie spreader; and (c) the lie believer. And to go a step further, you have those that go beyond telling lies, spreading lies, and believing lies. You have the ones that retaliate, taking action to threaten and intimidate people. Maybe at the urging of the liar or maybe not, but regardless of that they’ve committed acts against the victim or victim’s friends or family to blatantly display hatred and instill fear. And then you have the victim(s), the one(s) that the lie or lies have been viciously spread about.
Friends, let me tell you by my own experience that lies hurt people. Time does not heal that wound, even after the initial experience of my loved one almost 12 years ago. People I love have been brutally hurt and betrayed by someone they once loved and by so-called “friends.” By what I know, I’m probably included. However, my concern isn’t for me, it’s for the people I love that I still see hurting by the action of others. What is another sad fact is that people professing to be Christians are the perpetrators, and it’s no wonder why some of my non-believing friends are turned off by Christianity based on the hypocrisy they can see happening for themselves…because Christians aren’t supposed to treat Christians like that, are they? Or anyone else for that matter.
Lies divide families. For the victim lies cause mental anguish like nothing else. But to the liar and manipulator, the ends justify the means. The liar now becomes the “saint” because that person has now covered their wrong doing for the sake of self-preservation and to maintain control over others. All the terrible things the liar has spread, even though untrue, are now believed and they now have a following and a loyalty, thus dividing what once were friends and family (children) of the victim.
I’ve wrestled with this for many years. Living in a small enough town, I continue to hear things, untrue things. And now of course with FB it doesn’t matter what town you live in. No matter where you go you can’t run from it. I’m not in denial like the liar once told me. I’m not blinded by my loyalty and support of my loved one(s). I know the facts. I know the timeline. And I know that my dad went to his grave never to see a happy ending for someone he loved. I don’t want that to be the case for my mom someday. As I said, I’ve wrestled with this for many reasons. What I thought I had put behind me from so long ago, occasionally (more often lately) creeps up. I’ve chosen not to speak up about it publicly. Our family is private, and we don’t care to, for the lack of a better term, air our dirty laundry for the world to see. And besides that, I would like to think that by being silent that we are above the liar’s tactics. I don’t want to come across as being vindictive or spiteful. God knows my heart. He knows the concern I have for my loved ones and the prayers I have prayed and tears I have shed. I don’t wish any ill will on anyone, including the liar. I want to be Christ-like, but I am so far from being like Jesus hanging on the cross loving on his enemies and the people that mocked him, and lied about him, and killed him.
If people lived believing in the Golden Rule and never broke the Ten Commandments and truly loved like Jesus told us to love and came to repentance when they sinned I wouldn’t be writing this right now. But I’ve seen firsthand how Satan can use even God’s people to do his dirty work. He came to steal, kill, and destroy and what better way to make that happen than to have people spread lies and destroy relationships and families? Hate kills, and sometimes all it takes is one lie to start that seed of hatred. But love wins over hate. My loved one still loves the people that have caused him so much hurt. He hasn’t become like them. All I’ve even wanted and hoped to happen is for the liar to take back the lies about my loved one. To clear the air, that’s all. Unfortunately, that may never happen because the lies are like feathers in the wind.
I have learned something from this experience, and that is that when hearing of someone else’s experiences I don’t spread one-sided accounts or necessarily believe them. I know there is always another side to the story that I haven’t heard. I’ve also learned what I’ve always known, and that is that God is my healer and His Holy Spirit is my comforter. I can depend on Him for everything, even for peace when lies are circulating around me.
I hope that you will take this as it is intended, an exhortation to believe the best about people and not to be so eager to believe the negative. What you may think you know may not be the truth. Put yourself in the situation…what if it were you that the lies were being told about? Just something to think about.